For Men – On Father’s Day

Dadz

Dadz

I wrote this on a whim yesterday. The words tumbled out quickly as they tend to when feeling inspired.

Judging from my inbox, seems to have struck a chord.

Decided to share it here as well.

HFD 2013.

 

***

Our friend Peter was at our home as the day was winding down for our 2.5 year old, Alex. Peter was doing a fine job of reading Alex animal stories.

When it was time for Alex to go to his bedroom, he protested. As I took Alex in my arms, Peter blurted, “Maybe we could go to the zoo tomorrow and see all the animals!”

Alex’s eyes widened and he stopped crying. The zoo? See animals? That sounds a plan to me!

There was only one problem… We have no zoo to visit. Peter offered the idea to placate a mildly upset little boy. Peter does not have children, so he had no clue as to the impact of his words.

Any parent can tell you the first words out of Alex’s mouth the next morning…

“ZOOOOOOO!!!!!”

And so we started the day having to clean up a little mess… No biggie…

Certainly, Peter had nothing but good intentions. But not having directly experienced fatherhood, he had no awareness of the degree to which our children model what they see and hear from us.

Our kids are smart. They take it all in.

And most important, they follow our lead.

 

Of course, they don’t follow what you SAY…

 

The reflect WHO YOU ARE BEING.

 

(As an aside, I did my best to hide my grin when my son said, “Dammit!” when he saw me in a moment of frustration the other day.)

 

So with Father’s Day coming up, I started thinking about what it means to be a man and a father.

I’m not going to bust on men… I think we get enough of that in the popular culture and every father I know is deeply involved and committed in the raising of their children. Nothing needs fixing, because nothing’s broken.

However, I always believe that things can get better.

And I think it’s time for men to step up their games in actively reaching for more happiness and better-feeling lives.

Most men I know have never done anything in terms of consciously improving themselves. They’ve never taken a course. Or hired a coach. Or gone on a retreat. Many have never read a personal development book.

(Much of this has to do with the fact that they never saw their dad doing such a thing.)

Most men would prefer to spend their time and money going to an NFL game. And while there is nothing wrong with this, I do think that if you want more for your kids, you’d be well served to be a model of continual evolution and growth.

The lion’s share lot of your beliefs (and hang-ups) will be transferred to your kids, just as your parents transferred many of these to you.

 

So for my dads out there… Now’s as good as any to take stock and reflect on this question…

 

“Am I really living the life I want my kids to live?”

 

  • Do you have the intimate relationship with your partner that you want your child to have with his/her future partner? (Or is the truth that you’re not very happy?)

 

  • Do you have the kind of free relationship with money that you want your children to have? (Or do you worry about having enough?)

 

  • Do you model true happiness in your every day life? (Or does it feel more like a grind to get through the day?)

 

 

I am reminding you to be really conscious of this.

 

Remember, it doesn’t matter what you say. Or how good you believe yourself to be at hiding things. (I always wonder about the unhappy couples who tell me they are “staying together for the benefit of the kids.” Really? This is the kind of relationship you want them to have?)

 

Kids are not dumb. They learn from what they SEE and FEEL.

 

And they SEE and FEEL EVERYTHING.

 

Of course, you want the very best for your kids. And the good news is that you can’t really get it wrong (even when it looks like you’re doing it wrong).

So you can relax if you’re not the perfect parent. There’s no such thing. In the bigger picture, your kids will be fine…

 

Either DESPITE or BECAUSE of you…

 

If you’d prefer the latter scenario… and just as important, you want more for YOURSELF, be ruthlessly honest with yourself in answering this…

 

“Am I really living the life I want my kids to live?”

 

Happy Father’s Day.

 

– Drew

 

P.S. If you’d like me to be your guide in the adventure of very cool living, I have several options http://www.verycoollife.com/coaching/ including 2 spots for adventure coaching trips this summer!

 

 

Come, Enjoy the View with Me…

view from the hotel

view from the hotel

 

I wanted to let you know that I am hosting my annual live event on June 21st and 22nd in beautiful Burlington Vermont.

Whenever I write Burlington, I reflexively preface it with “beautiful.”

I host my events there because I love visiting Burlington. Even though I am running an event, I always feel like I am on vacation when I’m there.

If you’ve never been, Burlington combines the relaxed, open Vermont vibe with the energy of a small city. Our hotel overlooks Lake Champlain, and the backdrop is the High Peaks of the Adirondack mountains. We’ll be there during the summer equinox (June 21st-22nd) so the days will be gloriously long with plenty of time for exploring this vibrant area.

My favorite time of day is the early evening, watching the sun set over the lake behind the mountains. It’s a magical view indeed, one I’d like to share with you. (If you can appreciate what I am saying, I posted more pictures on the website http://www.the4core.com/retreat/).

I will be hosting this year’s event with my wife Karin, and we’ll be showing people like us (small business owners and entrepreneurs who want a sweet business as a direct result of creating a very fun, attractive lifestyle) our view of how RELAX and attract what you most deeply desire. (Really, it’s supposed to be easy…)

Specifically, we’ll be sharing how to leverage the Law of Attraction to deliberately create more of what you want in what we call the 4 Core Relationships — Your Relationship with your Business, Your Relationship with Money, Your Relationship with Your Environments, and Your Relationship with Yourself. (You can see where you are currently in the regard by taking a quick assessment I created online here. )

We’ve been pioneering this work over the past several months with our clients, and I can tell you that what we love seeing really wonderful people creating the lives they really deserve. (I find few things more inspiring that transformations. It’s the same reason I love those renovation shows on TV!).

So we’d like to share some very cool ideas with you. With very cool people. In a very cool environment.

(You can read more about the specific description of what to expect on the registration page.)

 

The first step of leveraging the Law of Attraction is to follow what feels better to you. In other words, get out of your head, put aside all the reasons you “can’t” or “shouldn’t” join us and notice what your intuition is telling you…

If in reading any part of this (or seeing one of the photos), you find your energy expanding, then I hope you’ll allow yourself to follow that feeling and join us in beautiful Burlington. And if your energy contracts, then this is not for you.

If you’re in the former group, I hope you’l allow yourself to make the time and space to say YES to yourself and let’s have an unforgettable experience together this summer.

Come take in the view with us.

 

IMG_7630

 

You just might never see things the same way again.

 

(Book now, chill out, see you then. http://www.the4core.com/retreat/)

You Can Do Better Than Politics

 

Seems timely to post this excerpt…

“I used to be a political junkie. I read the books, the newspapers, and the blogs. I watched the Sunday morning television shows where the politicians would face off with each other. I wanted to be informed, and I had a very strong opinion regarding what was right and how people should live.

As I was yelling at the TV one evening, my wife pointed out something profound — she mentioned that I did not seem to enjoy these political shows very much. Why was I watching them?

I did not have a good answer, other than somewhere, I had taken on the idea that being up to date with my government and politics was important. But when I went inward, the truth was clear — I did not feel good when connecting to politics.

Doing so made me feel angry, self-righteous, and frustrated.

When I realized all those negative feelings were self-inflicted, I began to tune into better-feeling subjects than politics.”

— From my book, The Very Cool Life Code: The 7 Keys For Unlocking a Life of Freedom, Ease, and Connection p 146.

 

 

Progress Equals Happiness

Red-tailed hawk over my house.

My wife and I watched Tony Robbins on Oprah’s show last night.

I love pithy quotes and cool distinctions and Tony said three words that sent me running to my computer to make note.

“Progress equals happiness.”

I thought about those words and found myself nodding.

I know I am happiest when I am expanding in some way…

Sometimes I connect to this feeling comes when writing a newsletter or creating a new CD.

Sometimes happiness comes from opening my eyes to the world and taking a nice photograph.

Sometimes happiness comes from learning to play a new song on the guitar.

Sometimes happiness comes from a home improvement job, or simply vacuuming the livingroom.

Sometimes happiness comes from paying attention to my skiing, making tiny adjustments to glide down the mountain easier.

Sometimes happiness comes when I notice that I managed to keep my mouth shut instead of complaining out of habit.

Sometimes happiness comes from being coaching and learning something new about myself and getting out of my own way.

 

Whatever the example, happiness is borne from evolution. Expansion. Progress.

 

Now, of course the converse is true as well…

If you’re not learning anything new, if you’re not actively expanding your mind in some way, if you’re not becoming a better person than you were yesterday… the joy of living will tend to be rather elusive.

Hit and miss.

The simplest way I know to upgrade the happiness in your life (and to progress) is to get into the habit of hanging out with other people who know that life is only supposed to get better and better. (This falls under Very Cool Life Key #7, Elevate Your Environments.)

And yes, you might just have to invest in yourself to make this happen…

If you feel ready to expand, to learn some cool concepts, ideas, and practices that will place you on the “Progress” track (and you’d like to hang out with me for a while), then I invite you to join my new 8-week class, based on my book, The Very Cool Life Code…

Starts tomorrow, so now’s the time, if you’re so inclined…

 

Details and registration are here. 

 

Whether you choose to join me or not, do yourself a favor.

Do something new.

Learn something about yourself.

Hang out with someone who knows something you want to learn.

Read a book.

Take a class.

Take a risk.

Live a litte.

Expand. Progress. Evolve.

Because that’s where happiness is…

And happiness is the entire point.

 

 

 

The Very Cool Life Course


Over the past couple of months, I’ve gotten some really cool messages in my inbox.

Some of them of these people are coaching clients. Some others are folks I’ve never met, who read and liked my book. In both cases, it’s a lovely feeling when someone tells you that you’ve made a positive impact on their lives.

Humbling. Surreal. But definitely very cool!

I’ve decide that I really like this feeling, and I want more of it!

As a result, I will be hosting my first Very Cool Life Course, starting this February 21st.

And yes, you are cordially invited to join me.

Taught by me, this will be an 8-week teleclass, based on the concepts and principles in my book. Similar to a typical college course, it will be a mix of lecture, Q & A, and coaching.

I know this material is super-solid, and I am eager to share this experience of going much deeper with this material with people who are as into the idea of living a freedom-based life as much as I am.

Registration is open now and I hope you make the decide to join me.

 

You can read more of the details and register here.

 

Be cool and love your life,

Drew

P.S. While not necessary, I would think it helpful to have read my book before taking this course. You can download a free copy or purchase one clicking the icons on the side of this page.