[mc src=”http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=04KZTXLBQUk” type=”youtube”]Distract Yourself[/mc]
I am hosting a very cool retreat in Burlington, Vermont 10 days from now.
It’s going to be the following things:
Full of connection.
Full of beauty.
Full of new ideas, with a massive breakthrough or two thrown in again for good measure..
As of this posting, I have 2 seats left.
If you feel like this space is meant for you and someone close to you, join us here.
In fact, if you come to my retreat, I promise that you’ll experience the following:
That’s right. I promise nothing.
Zero. Zippo. Zilch.
In fact, I have no idea if you’ll even like me.
Or my shoes. I have no idea if you’ll like what I have to say. I have no idea that you’ll understand any of the points I’m making. I have no idea whether you’ll find the information relevant. Or valuable. I have no idea whether you’ll like Vermont. Or the hotel. Or the weather. Or the other people at the event. Or the selection of teas in the back of the room.
(Damn. It feels good to write all that!)
(See, I told you this was the worst sales pitch ever! )
Why am I sharing this thought?
Because I just realized something important. I realized that I’m not in control of any one else’s experience but mine.
If you go back to the top of this post and re-read my intentions for the event, I’m not writing about what you would experience. I am writing about what I will experience.
I will have fun. I will have breakthroughs. I will be entertained, inspired, and see beauty and connection.
(Just connecting to this thought feels so cool! I know I am going to have a great time. I love Vermont. I love leading these events. Can’t wait!)
A few days ago, focusing so intently on my experience would lead me to believe I was not holding up my end of the bargain; that somehow I was breaking the unspoken contract between me and the attendees.
In my mind, the thoughts went like this —
I need to make sure that everyone has a great time. I need to make sure that everyone has a breakthrough. I need to make sure that everyone gets enough of my personal attention. I need to make sure that everyone gets more value that they paid for –
Guess what that felt like?
And of course, pressure never feels good. (Side note: It was this unwanted feeling that led me to 1) Want to feel better 2) Get some coaching for myself, which led to 3) My breakthrough that I share here).
I had to be reminded of my own words… My job is to always move in the direction that feels better.
In my head, I clung to the notion that I was responsible for this room of people and all their experiences. Of course, this is just silly, especially when when you consider that in any room there are as many totally unique perspectives as individuals.
Obviously, I’m not in control of those unique perspectives, just as I’m not in control of your thoughts about what I am sharing here.
All I am in control of is me and how I feel.
The feeling of pressure was not my enemy. Rather it was there to give me feedback, to tell me that my attempt to managed the experiences of others was both misguided and impossible.
I share this because I know I’ve been ignoring this sort of feedback for a while. I’ve let my mind and some old notions about “what’s right” trump my inner guidance system and moving towards what feels better.
I share this because perhaps my words will inspire you to notice where you are choosing thoughts that lead you to feeling pressure and adjust your focus accordingly.
Likewise, I know that the most powerful thing I can do for anyone attending my retreat is to be an example of living in alignment and to model the power of feeling good.
The same is true in your life.
(Doesn’t it feel great to remember that?)
“You want to know that fastest way to close the gap between where you are now and the very cool version of your life?
Here’s the big secret: Be Cool Now.
In order to upgrade your life, you need to upgrade the thoughts and feelings you are connecting to right now.
In order to realize your vision of a Very Cool Life you must begin to see and feel all the very cool aspects of your life that surround you this very moment.”
(excerpted from Amazon.com #1 Hot New Release in Happiness, The Very Cool Life Code, p 107.)
If you don’t know, Snooki is a reality television star on popular show, The Jersey Shore.
I’ve never seen her show and know little about her, but am aware of her presence in popular culture.
One of the things I learned about Snooki is that she was paid $32,000 to speak at Rutgers University. I learned this because I kept seeing people posting on their Facebook statuses how outraged they were at this “injustice”.
(After all, esteemed author/poet Toni Morrison received $2000 less to speak at Rutgers’ graduation. Nobel Laureates were paid 1/10 Snooki’s fee!)
After researching some news articles and comments, most (but not all) people took turns bashing the University and taking cheap shots at the Snookster.
The gist of the protests went like this — Why should a vapid, drunken, airhead be so highly compensated?
Here’s the thing…
When people condemn someone else for attracting lots of money, underneath it all, what they’re really saying is:
How come she gets all that money? She’s getting more than her fair share. I want more money too. And I have lots of talent and wonderful qualities. I should be getting more than I am. And I really deserve it, too!
Of course you want more money. Of course you’d like to be paid $32K to do a little Q and A.
This is perfectly natural.
What’s more, it’s all waiting for you.
However, in order to experience that same level of prosperity, instead of hating on the Snookies of the world, you’ll need to begin rooting them.
You have to accept that the reason Snooki attracts that kind of money is not an accident. It’s not luck. It’s not right or wrong. It just is.
Currently, she’s an energetic match for bringing in those kinds of dollars. She expects it. She allows it.
And so the money flows to her.
There’s no mystery here. No dumb luck. Nothing to be outraged about. Just simple, predictable Universal Law at work (this is Key#1 of The Very Cool Life Code. Just thought I’d mention that…)
Your condemnation (anger, resentment, jealousy) of another’s success says nothing about the other person.
Zero. Zippo. Nada.
Rather, the negative feeling that arises within you from another’s success is critical feedback that you are cutting yourself off from the dollars you want to flow into your life.
If you’re not attracting all the abundance into your life that you desire, the issue is not Snooki. Nor the administrators at Rutgers. In fact, it’s not no body nor no thing… It’s YOU.
You’ll know that you are living in alignment with prosperity when you find yourself rooting for Snooki and genuinely happy for the successes of other people (whether you resonate with the person or not). When you feel good when others succeed, this is your indication that you are no longer blocking your own prosperity.
When you think about it, condemning the success of others is an easy habit to fall into. It’s simply what most people do (and why most people don’t allow the $ they really want into their lives).
But to live a Very Cool Life, you have to be better than that. You have to more more aware. You have to live with the faith that the Universe is full of unlimited abundance — there’s more than enough for everybody.
Your job is to align your thoughts to let it all in.
A good place to start is to begin the conscious practice of upgrading the thoughts you choose in regards to the achievements of other people.
We’re 4 weeks away!
If you’re ready to upgrade your relationship to money and your ability to attract more of what you want with greater ease, then meet me in Burlington, Vermont May 6-7.
Two spots left for you and a friend.
It’ll be cool. Promise.
Very cool news to share!
The short story is that I’ve been confirmed to be on The Oprah Winfrey Show to discuss my book, The Very Cool Life Code this fall!
This has been unfolding for a for a few years now, but I just got confirmation earlier this week.
First, I would like to publicly thank my longtime friend from college and super-fan of my work, Margaret (“Maggie”) Redding for all her efforts. Maggie has been a producer for Oprah for the past 13 years and has been singing my praises to her for years. (I think she finally just wore Oprah down!)
A little backstory:
I got the chance to share a glass of champagne with Oprah at Maggie’s wedding in Chicago a few years back. She was really down to earth (just like she is on TV) and seemed genuinely interested in my work (or she was a pro at faking it).
This was back when Oprah’s Book Club was all the rage, and she asked me if I had a book for her to read. At this time, while I had all the ideas in my head, I’d not yet organized them on paper.
After sheepishly telling Oprah that I was “working on it,” she nodded politely and we parted company. As you might imagine, I was kicking myself for letting this huge opportunity pass me by. In the same moment, I promised myself to write a book crystallizing all my thoughts on living an exceptional life.
As I mentioned, Maggie has been a believer in my work since our college days. We’d regularly stay up into the wee hours and dissect the meaning of life over a couple of Keystone Lights in the dorm.
She’s worked on Oprah’s show for over a decade and has earned her trust in terms of guest recommendations. Over the last couple years, every time we’d connect, Maggie would nudge me to finish my book so she could pitch Oprah before her show ends later this year.
Well, I finished the book, and being the great friend she is, Maggie got a hold of Oprah’s Kindle and strategically planted a copy of my book on it.
Maggie’s plan worked, because Oprah called her at home that night, asking if she knew anything about the great new book on her Kindle. Maggie told her of our friendship and vouched for me endlessly (somehow, Oprah didn’t remember meeting me at the wedding!), and earlier this week I had a Skype meeting with Maggie and two other producers of the show.
Things went wonderfully (some very nice folks), and yesterday they confirmed me as a guest!
The show’s theme will be about lifestyle design and there are some other really well-known authors/ experts booked as well. (They asked me not to say anything more for now, so I won’t).
I will have an 8-minute segment with Oprah and the show is set to air on September 10th, 2011. (Don’t worry. I’ll be sure to remind you!)
I am pretty psyched as you can imagine — a dream of several year in the making, finally coming true! We tape in June, so I’ll be sure to chronicle my experience here.
I’m givin’ em away!
Have a great one…